Ridiculous late night episode with me & my other crazy half Lady N. We talk about the legalization of marijuana, December 21st 2012, Don Ray Walton’s inspired message to the human race about the coming of aliens from aliens, the supernatural, our game plan for the zombie apocalypse, bonus recording of Lady N’s list of things she’d do to me if she were to die first & haunt me, how aluminum foil is your best defense against alien invaders, & much more. This is a new recording format we’re trying out that’s still a little buggy, so forgive us from the 25min mark through to the 28min mark, the sound gets muffled after I asked Lady N to man the controls, & well, you know haha!
“Cypha Omni” Comedy Podcast on Stitcher/itunes/youtube
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Monday, November 12, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Episode 21 (Guest on Nick McEwen's InSpace Podcast)
Cypha Omni joins us for a drunken episode, plus a sneak peak at Nick McEwen & The 33s new recording of "I Know Nothing" set to release Dec 22nd 2012........
Thanks to Nick & the whole InSpace podcast crew, also available on itunes & youtube
"Cypha Omni" Comedy Podcast on stitcher/itunes/youtube
Thanks to Nick & the whole InSpace podcast crew, also available on itunes & youtube
"Cypha Omni" Comedy Podcast on stitcher/itunes/youtube
Saturday, November 3, 2012
C.O.C.P. Monthly Motivational “If the world has you by the throat, knee it in the jewels!"
The Cypha Omni Comedy Podcast can be found on Stitcher, itunes, podOmatic, & youtube
Cypha Omni Comedy Podcast
"Monthly Motivational"
“If the world has you by the throat, knee it in the jewels!”
Now ill be the first one to admit that life often sucks a bag of dicks. It was brought to my attention not long ago by my brother, Bloody Hands, that life is cylindrical. A cycle standing vertically. This can be seen in every law in nature. Moving bodies of rock, metal, & ice spin around in a giant vortex of stars & galactic matter, spiraling around super massive black holes, all the way down to when you flush your tampons & toilet paper. The point he was making, sometimes your on top, but expect the unexpected things that life flings at you to knock you down. Whether its financially, spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally, were all involved in this infinite cycle of ups & downs. The question now remains, once you obtain this realization & enlightenment, what next? Just expect to be shit on? Kicked while your down? In my opinion, yes & no.
I was always taught growing up as well as through experiences, to always make it a point to laugh no matter how fucked your day is, & to never let the stress of things that are beyond your control consume you in a quick-sandish quagmire of fresh compost, just waiting to fill your life with more blended gallons of cow patties to deal with. A lot of times we hear people preach about being optimistic, positive energy, fill your time with hobbies you enjoy, yada yada yada. But who has time right? Job, kids, animals, bills, etc. I don’t know if you feel like me or not, but I don’t have time to take yoga & pottery sculpting to sooth my spirits. On the flip side, we make time to drink, smoke, bullshit around.
Why not take that time you planned on hitting the bar with your buddies, and hit the gym an hour or two before you guys hook up? Take that jiu-jitsu class you’ve been blowing off, even if its just one night a week? Why is it wherever our happiness lye’s , we lack to make enough time for it, or no time at all? The problem with us, especially in America, is many of us our guilty of not being as productive, goal oriented, or try to take on way too much at any one given time, me included. Prioritizing, simplicity, determination. All these things & more play a severe role in how we handle each day, especially in a world designed to keep us trapped, manipulated, & in some cases abused by a system of laws that leave a mass majority of us fucked off. News, media, entertainment, all depict a vivid portrayal of what life should be, what your life should look like, & anything less is a failure. I look at it like this, just because your broke, doesn’t make you poor, & just because you may be a millionaire, doesn’t make you rich.
Now I’m not the most spiritual man in the world, but I believe some holy texts when it says things along the line of ‘put your trust in god’ & staying positive, do onto others what you want done to you, and your rewards will be a lot greater in the afterlife because all the things we suffer from in this world is merely a test & temporary. Whether this is true or not, we’re all going to find out some day, but until then, what are we left to do?
Life sometimes seems like a series of guessing games, moods, unforeseen events, & tragedies. I know for me, some days are harder to wear a smile on my face than others, which makes it a daily process to find the positives in your day. Take time out to look around, thank the higher powers that be, & appreciate the people & little things we all take for granted. Air, sun, the fall/winter colors in the sky, your woman when she bends over in a thong, your child knocking out someone for the first time, all these things are beautiful.
I know I’m not perfect by a long shot, & very guilty as much as anyone else for not always having a positive outlook on things. It seems easier to reside in darkness. Sometimes I want to say fuck it all, grab me & wife a one way ticket to hobo-ville & become Native American hippies, smoke hash, have a threesome with peyote, & become a tie die activist who lives off traveling like David Carradine teaching people Martial Arts & Jeet Kune Do philosophies. But where’s the reality in that?
Being alive today isn’t easy, but think about how shitty being alive just a couple centuries ago was? No internet, no phone, no facebook, strip clubs & dildos, no ER so whatever plague came along such as chicken pocks & common colds, guess what, dirt nap. No running water, no showers, toothpaste, or shaved monkeys. Now you may be thinking, Cyph I feel you man but I live in 2012 mofo! Yes, yes we do, but we’ve got it a lot better than many other unfortunate countries that are also in 2012. Being insensitive to this fact automatically means your lost, unappreciative, spoiled, & need some old school rain fire & brimstone down from the sky humbling that Sodom & Gomorrah got. Whatever you appreciate this morning, can be gone this evening, & some of us cant live with the thought of the last thing you may have said or done to that person was negative, half hearted, or you didn’t give your all when giving him the last blow job hell ever have before getting t-boned by an alien spacecraft on the way to working the night shift, & instead of reporting to your boss, your looking at St. Peter & his pimpness.
I, more than anyone, has to continue to check myself, my attitude, constantly, because no matter how much I bitch, moan, & complain, feel shit isn’t fair, I look at my family & realize, I’ve been blessed with a second chance at it, try to always do your best, & if your best isn’t enough, accept what you cant contain or control, & keep mushing on, learn in the process, & try to better the next day. Life likes to slang dick without astroglide, & will submit you, ONLY if you let it happen. But you might also be thinking, Cyph, the more I put up a fight, the more life fights back & bites me in the ass. DUH! Just like fighting your ex, if you call him ugly, most likely, he’s going to call you ugly, followed by being a emotional bitch who cant function with a hot dog to go with your buns. Sounds like life? Hey, you punch someone in the face, expect them to punch you back, unless you knock that sucker out, then on to the next fight.
Yes ladies & gentlemen, life is a constant battle. If the world has you by the throat, knee it in the jewels! Has you in a choke hold, head butt that asshole until its nose explodes, or you both have cranial fractures. Compare it to drops of water, trickling against a large stone or rock. Eventually over time, even those weak drips of water will eat through the stone, & open up new flood gates of adventures. You win some & you lose some, but living to fight another day, goes from being bittersweet to being a champion in your own world of realization, inner peace, & broader perception.
Cypha Omni Comedy Podcast
"Monthly Motivational"
“If the world has you by the throat, knee it in the jewels!”
Now ill be the first one to admit that life often sucks a bag of dicks. It was brought to my attention not long ago by my brother, Bloody Hands, that life is cylindrical. A cycle standing vertically. This can be seen in every law in nature. Moving bodies of rock, metal, & ice spin around in a giant vortex of stars & galactic matter, spiraling around super massive black holes, all the way down to when you flush your tampons & toilet paper. The point he was making, sometimes your on top, but expect the unexpected things that life flings at you to knock you down. Whether its financially, spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally, were all involved in this infinite cycle of ups & downs. The question now remains, once you obtain this realization & enlightenment, what next? Just expect to be shit on? Kicked while your down? In my opinion, yes & no.
I was always taught growing up as well as through experiences, to always make it a point to laugh no matter how fucked your day is, & to never let the stress of things that are beyond your control consume you in a quick-sandish quagmire of fresh compost, just waiting to fill your life with more blended gallons of cow patties to deal with. A lot of times we hear people preach about being optimistic, positive energy, fill your time with hobbies you enjoy, yada yada yada. But who has time right? Job, kids, animals, bills, etc. I don’t know if you feel like me or not, but I don’t have time to take yoga & pottery sculpting to sooth my spirits. On the flip side, we make time to drink, smoke, bullshit around.
Why not take that time you planned on hitting the bar with your buddies, and hit the gym an hour or two before you guys hook up? Take that jiu-jitsu class you’ve been blowing off, even if its just one night a week? Why is it wherever our happiness lye’s , we lack to make enough time for it, or no time at all? The problem with us, especially in America, is many of us our guilty of not being as productive, goal oriented, or try to take on way too much at any one given time, me included. Prioritizing, simplicity, determination. All these things & more play a severe role in how we handle each day, especially in a world designed to keep us trapped, manipulated, & in some cases abused by a system of laws that leave a mass majority of us fucked off. News, media, entertainment, all depict a vivid portrayal of what life should be, what your life should look like, & anything less is a failure. I look at it like this, just because your broke, doesn’t make you poor, & just because you may be a millionaire, doesn’t make you rich.
Now I’m not the most spiritual man in the world, but I believe some holy texts when it says things along the line of ‘put your trust in god’ & staying positive, do onto others what you want done to you, and your rewards will be a lot greater in the afterlife because all the things we suffer from in this world is merely a test & temporary. Whether this is true or not, we’re all going to find out some day, but until then, what are we left to do?
Life sometimes seems like a series of guessing games, moods, unforeseen events, & tragedies. I know for me, some days are harder to wear a smile on my face than others, which makes it a daily process to find the positives in your day. Take time out to look around, thank the higher powers that be, & appreciate the people & little things we all take for granted. Air, sun, the fall/winter colors in the sky, your woman when she bends over in a thong, your child knocking out someone for the first time, all these things are beautiful.
I know I’m not perfect by a long shot, & very guilty as much as anyone else for not always having a positive outlook on things. It seems easier to reside in darkness. Sometimes I want to say fuck it all, grab me & wife a one way ticket to hobo-ville & become Native American hippies, smoke hash, have a threesome with peyote, & become a tie die activist who lives off traveling like David Carradine teaching people Martial Arts & Jeet Kune Do philosophies. But where’s the reality in that?
Being alive today isn’t easy, but think about how shitty being alive just a couple centuries ago was? No internet, no phone, no facebook, strip clubs & dildos, no ER so whatever plague came along such as chicken pocks & common colds, guess what, dirt nap. No running water, no showers, toothpaste, or shaved monkeys. Now you may be thinking, Cyph I feel you man but I live in 2012 mofo! Yes, yes we do, but we’ve got it a lot better than many other unfortunate countries that are also in 2012. Being insensitive to this fact automatically means your lost, unappreciative, spoiled, & need some old school rain fire & brimstone down from the sky humbling that Sodom & Gomorrah got. Whatever you appreciate this morning, can be gone this evening, & some of us cant live with the thought of the last thing you may have said or done to that person was negative, half hearted, or you didn’t give your all when giving him the last blow job hell ever have before getting t-boned by an alien spacecraft on the way to working the night shift, & instead of reporting to your boss, your looking at St. Peter & his pimpness.
I, more than anyone, has to continue to check myself, my attitude, constantly, because no matter how much I bitch, moan, & complain, feel shit isn’t fair, I look at my family & realize, I’ve been blessed with a second chance at it, try to always do your best, & if your best isn’t enough, accept what you cant contain or control, & keep mushing on, learn in the process, & try to better the next day. Life likes to slang dick without astroglide, & will submit you, ONLY if you let it happen. But you might also be thinking, Cyph, the more I put up a fight, the more life fights back & bites me in the ass. DUH! Just like fighting your ex, if you call him ugly, most likely, he’s going to call you ugly, followed by being a emotional bitch who cant function with a hot dog to go with your buns. Sounds like life? Hey, you punch someone in the face, expect them to punch you back, unless you knock that sucker out, then on to the next fight.
Yes ladies & gentlemen, life is a constant battle. If the world has you by the throat, knee it in the jewels! Has you in a choke hold, head butt that asshole until its nose explodes, or you both have cranial fractures. Compare it to drops of water, trickling against a large stone or rock. Eventually over time, even those weak drips of water will eat through the stone, & open up new flood gates of adventures. You win some & you lose some, but living to fight another day, goes from being bittersweet to being a champion in your own world of realization, inner peace, & broader perception.
Episode 20 with Nerve / Chilla Jones vs. JC (URLTV)
A split podcast with returning guest Nerve from Sharp State of Mind
Radio, touching on different aspects of battle rapping, UFC, weed, &
more. The 2nd half right at the 30min mark, Chilla Jones vs. JC from
the URL. In my opinion the hottest battle all year.
“Cypha Omni” Comedy Podcast on Stitcher/itunes/youtube
“Cypha Omni” Comedy Podcast on Stitcher/itunes/youtube
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