C.O.C.P. Monthly Motivational “1 Answer to all your New Years Resolutions...

The Cypha Omni Comedy Podcast can be found on Stitcher, itunes, podOmatic, & youtube 

 

Cypha Omni Comedy Podcast
"Monthly Motivational"

"1 Answer to all your New Years Resolutions..."

    Got that new project you started last June to finish?  Is your husbands football team out of the playoffs, which allows you to start tackling those in home projects on Sundays that you started before Thanksgiving? Start that new gym membership you know good and damn well you'll cancel by March?  Well whatever your goals are, weight loss, make more doe, win a decathlon, fuck a midget, there’s one simple answer to all your goals, needs, & ills.

    What are some of things you do when you start to set your goals and aspirations?  A check list? Take notes? Set standards, deadlines?  One problem I tend to create in the process of setting new bars, is trying to attain too much at one time.  Its not easy to compartmentalize, adapt, and prepare for the unknown results that could send you to the next level, or fall head first from a shaky based structure.

    Setting reasonable goals is a start.  Its in a humans nature and tendency to set a lot of goals from the onset, and quickly get lost in trying to obtain it all, when the best tactic in my opinion is to set 1 goal at a time.  There’s only 1 you when it comes to household chores, in other words you cant clean the bathroom, vacuum the living room, suck your hubbys dick and make him a sandwich at the same time. If you can, Michael Keaton would be proud, I’d call you a bad muthafucka, and ask you for a business card.  Why would it be any different with setting life goals and achievements?

    If you really think about it, and subscribe to prehistoric humans being hunters and gatherers, our biological makeup isn’t designed for the high speed plethora of information coming at us from every orifice of technology every nano-second, not to mention all the stresses that come at us in the form of cooperate slavery, tattoos and piercing’s in the form of puberty, and father time laughing at your knees sounding like rice crispys in milk every morning.  Were technically not a lot different from our ancestors of at least 40,000 years ago, when they were throwing pointed sticks at there escaping dinners, fucking without condoms, and smoking weed to alter the pain of a crocodile biting your dick off as we lived loin cloth-less in the bare elements.  Now its a suit and tie, hard hats, stripper poles, and can I take your orders to survive. Until we live in a global based economy that thrives off natural resources without monetary gain, guess what, goals are basically not a option, but a must if we want not only our personal lives to enjoy some benefits, but the lives of everyone around us, including our bad, dumb ass kids.

    I don’t know about you, but I, like many, have a lot of goals I’d love to achieve in 2013 to enhance my life, but until then as we embark on our own respective journeys, we have to develop the will, drive, and the determination of a dope fiend saling you a fly swatter and a pack of donuts for his next hit.  Well whats the answer?  Quit being a lazy fuck!  Get off that scrotum, cup your nuts, and go out and take what you feel you deserve for yourself and the others around you, otherwise your goals will continue to be just that, and not accomplishments.